Immaculate Misconception

A long, long, time ago, I can still remember……..Okay, this post has nothing to do with Madonna or “The Madonna.” It’s just an old memory of an x-ray room, me and a rather strange Q&A session.

I had to do a whole bunch of tests and an ultrasound was just a part of the whole package, not to forget the all-important x-ray. An x-ray sounds simple enough but I was a tad confused with all the instructions that were printed out about the dress code. After a lot of thought about just how much I had to disrobe, I did what I had to do and wrapped myself in the green garb that I’d been given. I walked into the x-ray room, made a mention of “good ole Aunt Flo” with regard to my non-adherence to the rule of nudity (behind the green veil, of course) and proceeded to play the role of a dead body in a mortuary. The man went about his duties with precision and all seemed well with the world and my spine, until he stepped out of the room to ask the fatal question.

The x-ray man asked my friend if I was pregnant. WHAT!?! WHY!?! I was confounded and then terrified. I lost my sense of reason and panicked all the way to the ultrasound room. “Oh my God,” I thought, “what if I really was pregnant!?” Nothing seemed impossible at that moment. Ironically, the sterile environment seemed to have had an adverse effect on my brain. It obviously rendered both staff and patient brain dead, so much so, I was almost disappointed when the baby did not appear on the screen – Almost!

Baby or no baby, I still find it hard to believe that I lost "it" over something my friends and I now call “The Immaculate Misconception”.